Moving To Oneness

Ep. 38 ~ Guest Dr. Ali Lankerani - The Parent Wisperer

Episode Summary

The time together barely scratches the surface of what our knowledge and wisdom our guest Dr. L brings to the parents of this world. Enjoy his light hearted way of teaching ways to become an empowering role model to your child.

Episode Notes

Growing up in a war zone made Ali Lankerani decide to bring light to children of this world. He studied everything to walk his talk as he empowers parents to be a role model to their child, so they can be who they are to be in every moment of  their life. Enjoy the stories Dr. L shares with you.

Learn more about Ali's fascinating work on his Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/watch/rolemodelmaker 

Visit his company's website: https://www.rolemodelmaker.com

Connect directly with him via email: doctorl@rolemodelmaker.com 
Do follow his invitation to reach out to him. :)

Watch the video of Episode 38  with Dr. L on our YouTube channel Moving To Oneness: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzEWKXR957EmpmXvG9Ygbhw


You are invited to bring your wisdom and powerful energy over to our Fb group where you can share it with us and others. Feel welcomed and comforted in our community. https://www.facebook.com/groups/movingtooneness 

You can request a topic of your choice to be spoken about or a song to be sung for you on a future podcast. Just let us know. :) 

Follow us on: Twitter: https://twitter.com/MovingToOneness 
In Love and Light, 
Meilin & Denise 

Are you interested to be on the podcast?
Connect with us: meilin@movingtooneness.com

Episode Transcription

Moving To Oneness; Nourishing Curiosity, Embracing Differences, Becoming One.

Meilin Ehlke  0:43  
I could have started recording a while ago. My guest today is sitting in New York, he is so vast, has so many accomplishments, has so many interests that every single moment that I speak with him is precious. So everyone, welcome to the Moving To Oneness, podcast, and please be excited as I am, about what is gonna arise with my guests a Doctor,  Ali Lankerani.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  1:19  
Wow, that's really good. That was very good. Appreciate.

Meilin Ehlke  1:24  
Do you know why it's so funny, you know my married name is Ankermann, so we have anchor, both of us in our name and that's going to be interesting to talk a little bit about.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  1:34  
A tongue twister there.

Meilin Ehlke  1:36  
But, but everyone he is simply being called Dr. L, and I'll do that too, and he maybe can share the story how that arose. But first, Dr. L, Ali. Welcome to the Moving To Oneness podcast.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  1:55  
Thank you. Thank you, for having me here and hello everybody I'm honored and delighted to be here today with you.

Meilin Ehlke  2:01  
Yeah. We had to think about you know what topic, what's, he is a really fantastic storyteller, what story to speak about and I said, "let's go with the flow and think really about, what brings you in moving together to oneness. What has brought your life to do whatever you do." For, in a way, humanity, for children, for parents, you also called 'the parent whisperer'. Right? You bring all of you, of your ancestors, I know that a little bit about, together as well, to provide a light, a bright future for many, and for that I wanted to thank you. And share a little bit how you decided, or did you know already as a little child that you wanted to bring light to people?

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  3:03  
Well actually that's a really good question. When I was a child, I grew up in Iran, and I moved to the United States, via Germany in 1987. So I was around 14, so you can do the math, about all the details of that. And funny enough, growing up there, I distinctly remember as a very, very small child sitting in the car and being at a traffic light, looking at the people in the other car and thinking, "I'm not going to be around these people for long". And I don't know how I knew that, or why I felt that way. It's not like I was constantly moving abroad or traveling, but I could tell that, you know, that somehow there was going to be a shift, there's going to be this change where, at the very least physically, geographically, I will be relocated, I will not be around the people that I was around at the time. And of course then, I grew up in the Iran-Iraq War and post revolution, so it was a very tumultuous time period. And I grew up with ADHD before there was a diagnosis for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. So I was always described as this bright kid that would get the point in class in the first 10 minutes and I would go on to disrupt the class in the remaining hour.

Meilin Ehlke  4:34  
You got bored.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  4:35  
That was the general report from any teacher at any grade on any topics basically that my parents used to get. And I was so sick and tired of hearing that report. And I didn't have a solution for it. Nobody did actually. And there were challenges and struggles and during that era in that time, it was extremely important for you to perform academically well and that's an understatement you needed to really be in the top 1% of the academic performance nationally, to be able to pass the National university entrance exam, ...

Meilin Ehlke  5:11  
Wow.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  5:11  
... so that you wouldn't have to go to the frontlines and fight. So it was really a pretty much a life and death situation. And I'm lucky enough for me two weeks before draft, the invitation from the US Embassy in Frankfurt came and said, "Hey, your interview is up for residency in the United States". So I happen to move away and of course we did the interview and funny enough, he said, "You're clear to go, but I wouldn't recommend you leaving tomorrow because tomorrow in the United States, there's this holiday called Thanksgiving. And so everyplace is going to be closed", so that's how I remember when I actually moved over. I pretty much got the move over on Thanksgiving of 1987.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  5:57  
Anyways, long story short, we came over here and now, I was away from family and friends and culture and the system that I knew, and I had to figure out how to make my way, and kind of blossom as a young adult, basically. And I went through my training. I became a clinical neuroscientist and I started my private practice. All of those had their own specific challenges, but ultimately, during my practice I was voted as America's top doctors a couple of times. That practice was an award winning practice. And we were helping a lot of kids recover from Autism Spectrum Disorders get the label taken off, or have better family lives. And yet, one of the days, the busy day, something that would have been otherwise very fulfilling for me, I sensed this unhappiness on the drive home. And I'm like, I just had the best day. I helped so many people I change lives. Why is it that I'm not happy? I'm unhappy. And the reality came to me, that I felt, that I was being limited by my trade, and I wanted to serve in a bigger way. And that basically started, that was the beginning of my next journey which brought me to where I am today, which ultimately led me to realize that, looking back at my ancestors that they come from a long line of philanthropists and industrialists and people who've been in politics, changed politics in the shape of world history. I figured that, you know what, I want to leave my legacy. What's going to be my legacy? So that's where my starting point was. And of course, up until that point, my motto, my chief aim in life has always been that I want to improve the world by improving myself, and I want to do that via gaming experiences. Going through experiences, so I've tried as many different things encountered as many different cultures, I can, different foods, travel everything basically. And, but it wasn't enough, there was time for me to give back based on my skills, based on all my experiences, and that's where this current thing that I do resides. Which is we try to support, inspire and empower parents to lead by example, so that the children can see what a happy, healthy and thriving life looks like, and internalize that in their brain as that young brain is developing. So that you don't have to preach to them when the problems arise, "oh you should have done this or don't do this" and things like that because it's a lot harder to correct the problem than to get the neural circuity right in the first place basically.

Meilin Ehlke  8:47  
This is really interesting. You have made a lot of fascinating life experiences. Yeah, as a child I can recognize that very much so. So I think if you have this vast interest, and I think the vast interest, why do we have those. We want to understand, and maybe we, you are, or many others that are fast thinkers right the brain goes much faster and the tongue can't follow, and you're so aware of everything in the surrounding. And in the schools they want that you're only aware of the teacher and listen and really act on it. So many intelligent children are labeled wrong, I believe, or even people with, called disabled. Right? Like I always was, dyslexia or autism is because it's difficult for them to work with in different ways. We're still you know being taught, 2% of ways children and learn in school, it hasn't changed. You can study 36 ways as a teacher, that is still just a part of it. And, and so I'm happy you're bringing this new understanding, to parents that it can be different and that they also may be learned from their own experience. And you can see it I think also nowadays that parents want to do it a little different than the parents before. Or maybe that is a normal way anyway. Right? The new, next generation wants to do it a little different. But there is, in a way a little bit of a revolution where a lot of parents, and I have to include myself. I remember when my son was born, 14 years ago, I said, "I have to figure out who I am, I have to live my truth".

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  10:49  
Right.

Meilin Ehlke  10:49  
Because children pick it up in seconds when you talk one way and you'd act, an other way. And if I don't see where I want the world to go, being lived. And I can't tell him to do it. I have to show it. And that's hard work. Got me in a whole new spiral of adventures of learning, of meeting people. But I felt I had to be ready for my son, and what he's bringing and that he can be more open. Because in a way I experienced being closed down. Like you did as well and the list is big. Right? Where the teachers always tell you to be quiet, to think in a different way, that you're wrong. And so yes, so, you're speaking out of my heart, and you have this fantastic influence of really changing something and you have it, you have done it, you are doing, and you will do it even in a much grander way.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  11:58  
Thank you. It's funny, you just mentioned what something that brought up a memory and the memory is this. That, apparently, I'm very obstinate and stubborn, and hard headed. And one of the things that I used to have issues with is authority. Which is why it was so imperative for me to move out of Iran, at the time. Because you know, it went from a relatively relaxed and free and open country to all of a sudden this very dogmatic, revolutionary, traditional sense and then only a few people got tell everybody else how you're supposed to think and behave and all of that. Now, the funny thing is going through school, I developed this distaste that whenever a teacher would say something, I would ask the question, "Well who made them the authority figure to say that?" Now as a six or seven year old kid, you don't know any better. Yes, they have age. They have experience. They have training. All of that is true, but I had this unresolved thing inside of me that just because she says so it doesn't mean it has to be so. And in fact I remember I would like literally during summer breaks I would pick up physics books that I would read, particle physics, for instance, but if I was to learn that in school where a teacher was telling me this is how it is, I would have difficulty accepting it. So, that is something that is a byproduct of the Industrial Revolution, and us trying to modernize and get everybody aligned so we can see progress, quote unquote, in the world and we kind of boxed ourselves into this way of running society. I mean it has a lot of wonderful benefits, but we also are noticing that it's not sustainable, it's creating certain kinds of inequalities and imbalances and the personal  disconnectivity that exists. Despite being super connected more than ever before in human history. So, those things, are things that when you say parents want to do things differently, I think, as a general whole, as a species, as a society or civilization, you're starting to realize that what we have is great, but we can't continue to build on this and we need to kind of adjust our course, ever so slightly, so that we can go ahead and have those other things that right now are getting neglected. Like the personal satisfactions and those individual things, that we are after which are nowadays seem like not congruent with the way society does the education or the job seeking and how everything else is set up in the world.

Meilin Ehlke  14:57  
Yeah, you know, it was on top of the Industrial Revolution, I had to think about, in Germany right, I think, in 1676, it was determined that all children had to go to schools. So rather early, but the structure was built up after a military school. Right? And this style still runs  in a way, not just the German, European or Western world, the way of teaching. And I think it's so difficult to overhaul, even though there come so many grand visionaries and wayshowers, and other new ideas, like Waldkindergarten. Right? Where the children are in the kindergarten in the woods outside all day, summer as winter, and they love it. They become so much more adventurous, they come in tune with nature. Or in Russia they have beautiful ways that young children already can design on their own thoughts and learn what they want, so they can implement and create what they want. There are 12 and 14 years old ones building buildings, and inventing it. They're giving so much more opportunity to see possibility, and they're supported more than in that systems by the adult. Right?

Meilin Ehlke  16:23  
So it's more an exchange of wisdom, like we have now at this moment when we are here in this podcast, in this beautiful conversation. It's stimulating. It brings new ideas, it brings memories, and even maybe suddenly together you can do to even grander things, and you get new ways. Right? You are a neurologist, and you are fascinated in understanding how the brain functions and how fast we can rebuild the brain. Our neurons, right, they rebuild so quickly. And then our school structure or even our society, you're right, it's so stagnant. And I think this is the movement into our natural state. As a human being, I believe, we're very flexible, movable beings and our way of being put into borders, being put into houses, being put into other structures, has limited our movement. One, yes by politics, right, or power struggles of others, it's easier to control us then. And I think inside of the people in the world, most of them where it has been restricted luckily we still have examples where we can see how it's in a society which has not been so restricted, how fluid that society is.

Meilin Ehlke  17:54  
And I think that's in the bigger picture, where you're leading people to now, by looking at the example of the nuclear of a family, right? The nuclear mother with her child. The father, mother with a child, and then going bigger because you have to educate, so if you start teaching your child in a way, one thing, and you have to explain what you're teaching to others. I've learned that was difficult. Right? So you have to, I had to learn to explain why I'm letting my son  have all these experiences or not pulling him back or letting him walk much further away from me and that I would follow him instead of he would follow me when he was little so he could explore himself in his style and nature. This is another thing that is not easy to do. So chapeau for you.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  18:52  
Thank you. Actually one of the things that came to my mind right now was about the fact that, as we move into this century, we're talking about artificial intelligence, AI, and people are worried about all the jobs that are being lost, and what you were describing about creativity, imagination, that is the gift of humans, and that is something that the AI, the artificial intelligence can't do because they're designed on a set of algorithms and at best they can predict and project forward into the future. But, like you were saying that if you go ahead and see a device or see a situation in life, we can figure out where the problem is, and then try to solve the problem by seeing what we need to create what we need to invent and then that's where the AI can come in once we're clear about what it is that we need to do. That's not something that the AI can do. And part of that whole creativity comes from the fact, again I'm going to go back to my nerdy geeky neurology stuff, that when we are born, our brains are not fully developed, and we do all of this stuff, everything that we have achieved in life has happened because of the brain development that happens in those early years. The one of the first places is of course, connecting with your body. Babies don't recognize that they are separate from the world, initially, they believe that there's this big soup, and they are part of that soup or all of that soup, they don't know where the boundaries are. So it takes us an amount of time basically to distinguish that up. I finish at the end where my skin ends, and the rest of the world begins. And then, in doing so, you establish boundaries for yourself. These are my movements, these are my thoughts, these are my emotions, and these are what I want to show and manifesting projecting the world. This is how I want to change the world. You move that thing and it makes a noise it's like I have control over the world, you learn early on as a baby that, "hey you know what, there are certain things that I can do that can actually go ahead and make an impact in the world, if I giggle and do something. This person in front of me happens to be my mom happens to giggle and smile as well", and then you see this connection being made. Right?

Meilin Ehlke  21:25  
Hmm

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  21:25  
So, that process to this day goes on with you and if you are disconnected because you don't move a lot. If you're disconnected because you are not paying attention to your health, what's going on in your guts or what's going on in your mind and your mood and your thoughts, and you keep pushing those down. Then when you go to show up in the world. You don't know where your feelings, where your beliefs, and where the rest of the world begins. So as a result you're more subject to bullying, you're going to have more difficulty picking the right career or choosing the right job or ending up in the right relationship, because if you don't know what values you stand for, how can you be in a relationship and identify somebody else that might share those values with you, right, so it becomes very difficult to be in a relationship. And as this disconnection happens and continues you never get to practice communicating because there is no reason to communicate if there's nothing to connect to. Right?

Meilin Ehlke  22:30  
Yes.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  22:30  
So as a result, the communication suffers as well. So I went on the tangent but I just wanted to.

Meilin Ehlke  22:37  
No there's never a tangent because life is spiraling, and we're bringing, it is not just one. It's bringing always input, right? The moment we look at a tree, I look at one out side, right. I get information from the tree. You hear as we heard my cat. Yeah, there's an input, so we have always this input and it's important, I believe, every input we have in the moment has something to do.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  23:07  
Right.

Meilin Ehlke  23:07  

It does something. It may loosen something up, it may tighten something within our body and it gets us to think. And it fits really the topic, because it all comes then together and individually, we can choose then, even though we hear the same or see the same. What parts I have fun with creating or putting together, and what to do.  So. And I always, I learned one thing, Ali. I had a radio show, and sometimes I just spoke that which was you know in the back of my mind thinking, "oh, my God, why was I thinking about that", and then at the end a caller I would get on, "oh, I'm so happy you spoke about this. I exactly needed to hear this". So I also learned that, and not to censor myself, or a thought or a need that arises, even though in the moment I may not understand why it is here or coming. A little later, it's very clear, or maybe a year later, it's very clear, of why certain experiences happened.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  24:28  
Well, I totally understand that. Putting it into context as far as where I have been in life with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. One of the things that I was always notorious for, I would call it being criticized for who I was, you don't finish what you start. Right, so this became a part of me that, oh, if I go ahead and start something I need to finish it, I need to pursue it, I need to see it to its completion, because that was the hallmark of my faults right, so I had to make sure that it doesn't exist. So, it's kind of built into me and thank you for noticing that and addressing it in that sense.

Meilin Ehlke  25:13  
Yeah, it because you know you're very flexible, you've started new things. Yeah, maybe some you don't end but it is important that we try at least. We have to figure it out if it suits us. If it's an instrument we learn as a child, I remember they had to pick one that they got to play all their life but you know maybe at that moment in time someone told them that it would be the best for them, or they didn't have the opportunity to try a few others. And then, the distaste is develop. Yes? They practice but then there is not this umphf in it. There are so many different instruments, you have to play around and suddenly you may find that right one, that suits you. Important also in a sport, or a hobby. Wow, then you excel, I believe. Too often, people see that a child is good and then they pressure it to do it, but that child may be better somewhere else, even better. Yeah, and also they're criticized if they don't perform a certain way. And I thought, you know the one like the Olympic winners, where people think that they want their child to get to this level or if it's a teacher, they did it by themselves. They had something within them that made sure they did it, and it is important that we start recognizing and give the child, or even every human being, the ability to choose for themselves. To not judge what others do because we don't understand we don't know what is happening with them inside. We're so complex. We have the most difficult time for us to think about what is best for us and what I want to do in the next moment. So how hard it is for others.

Meilin Ehlke  27:13  
And I love also that you say that, how to communicate it in a relationship is important. that it comes out from within the parents. Even if you do have two different views of how you want to raise a child, but maybe then there's a third and fourth way that is even better.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  27:28  
Right.

Meilin Ehlke  27:28  
It is important to find a new vocabulary and open up and for the parent to invite self development in to be there for your one child and maybe a few more, and the dynamics change, but to be courageous enough. I invite everyone who's listening, be courageous to find your own words, to not hold back what do you want to tell your partner. Not to hold back what you want to ask your child? Share yourself with your child what you love to do, the child may have ideas and will adapt to you. We don't all have to adapt to the children. It can be an engaging exchange too, that is stimulating I think.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  27:31  
Absolutely, I think, when you were talking about the mouth, not keeping up with the brain I think it's, there's a lot more to it than that. Because when you look at our brain, and when you look at its capabilities, one of the things I think is, I think evolution has not been able to also keep up with our brain on what it can do, as well. So, part of our survival how we have in our genome where we come from, is the fact that we need to make sure that we identify friend from follow, good from bad right so in our survival. It's important for us early on, to understand what is good for us and what's bad for us so this sense of duality of judgment of the good and bad, dark and light, you know, that type of thing. And you see it you know when it comes to the kids, you know, we train them early on, do this, this is good and we can reward them. This is bad and we could say no, no, no don't do that you're gonna burn your finger and stove bad this good so we talk about it like that. And as a result what ends up happening is, as we become more independent thinkers, then now, the onus is on the individual to figure out the difference between good and bad rather than being told by a mom or a dad that, " okay, well this is the person you're hanging out with. This is the activity you do. This is what you don't do. This is the kind of grades you get. These are the type of activities you don't do". Right. So, and then how well you get it right, that determines your success. So the better you can go ahead and figure out the right answers the first time around, which is not realistic because that's not how the world works, then the more successful and the further ahead in life you get. And so everybody's trying to be right. Everybody's trying to get it right the first time, in the shortest amount of time and wants to have that Hollywood or the optimum lifestyle in as little time as possible, if you do everything right then and, you know, make all the right decisions and so on and so forth. But, the reality of it is that there is trial and error, there's individuality, there is acceptance, and you cannot have those, if you have judgment, as the first condition of decision making. So, you need to make the decision making based on what's true to your heart, and what resonates with you what you identify with. And that's kind of beaten out of us, very early on in life. Just because we needed to survive back in the days and that's not as much of an issue anymore.

Meilin Ehlke  31:03  
No, but this is a really powerful. I heard it. It got me thinking when I was listening just now to you. You said, that we teach judgment really quick because we want to control a little bit of our children's manner, right? You know, sometimes they're too loud, sometimes they're too quiet, now they shouldn't cry, now they shouldn't laugh, now should they should do that. The next moment we pull them back. And it depends on who the other mothers are on the playground. But what really came out now is, what is really important for us parents is to give the most freedom, the earliest on, because if we do that we give the most success to a child, when it's an adult, and this is the fastest and the quicker. Because it's like an oxymoron now. First you are not allowed to do all those things, and suddenly you turn 18 or let's say 19, yeah, when you go to college, and suddenly you have to, you're supposed to be all these other things.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  32:10  
Right.

Meilin Ehlke  32:10  
But then we have no teachers for that. We have a no community for that. Too many traumas have been developed because some of those judgment had force behind them, right? If it force of words, or pulling away love or really pain, there are a lot of other control factors there.

Meilin Ehlke  32:34  
So, how can you teach a parent? What can a parent do to provide the least control? Is there a little tip?  So, because I'm thinking. I watched the Native Americans. They let their children burn themselves for a second, not that they burned, but they let them feel until it gets too hot if there's a fire pit or something. Right. They don't right away interfere. A German mother would go, "Oh, stop. It's gonna get hot, you're gonna burn yourself". And I said oh my god they let the child, practice, and as you said also before find its own boundaries, when it's too hot or when it gets too dangerous. Because I believe it's already in children the moment they're born, they know when it's really a dangerous situation for their life or not, and if they can develop it rather quick, they'll be perfect.

Meilin Ehlke  33:35  
So, how can you get a parent do? What could you support a parent with or give them a tip for?

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  33:42  
And the tip, actually, that I have also applies to relationships because it's, it's very similar. If you think about the whole family dynamics, all the different family members everybody's trying to figure it out right and you know you're trying to be the best parent and the child is trying to figure out, well how the world works and you know you're as, as a whole community as a whole family unit, trying to figure out how to fit into the world at large and what's the right thing to do and the wrong thing to do. And ultimately that the answer that I have is a three step approach.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  34:16  
The first one is that first of all you have to understand and work with the body. I have this top down inside out approach. So for children, there are different phases that they go through in the early phase of life like zero to three years of age, they are just trying to get control of their own body and survive so that's like almost survival. So trying to tell them do this or don't do that really doesn't work as anybody was tried to coach a two year old to not to do something, when they have just discovered the word no, I'm free will. So it's understandable that they're just trying to understand this world. Now from three to six is when they need to understand rules and consequences. So if you have anything to teach them as far as good and bad, that's the age.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  35:05  
But from six to nine it is the time for them to start actually not applying these rules and seeing how it works of the world at large. And nine through 12 is when they actually go ahead and start connecting to other human beings in social settings to their peers. And then at that point they start forming their own sense of identity, and they become who they are not in during their teenage years now, what's going to happen is they're going to test it and really solidify that and form their own unit. But for many parents they're way behind on this curve, so they are trying to get the kids to survive all the way until they're six to seven years old, they don't need to they learn to survive a long time ago. Then they're trying to teach them the rules when they're going from six to 12. And at that point they already know the rules they just need to practice it. So now, at teenage years, because they never were given the opportunity to practice the rules. Now they try to lash out, breakout try to figure out, and they take risks that are unnecessary, but that's because they didn't get to do it in the home environment when it was much safer, when they were six years old. Now they're 15, they maybe can drive a car, they can get in a car with peers that can drive a car, and they're going to try things out that they didn't get to do. And then, because of the teenage years and they didn't get to establish and form their identity, they go to college. And now, this is where you'd see things that they do things that like, that's not even like him. Why would he do that? You know, we all know about the crazy stories that happen in college.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  36:50  
So the first part is understanding the body and making sure that we work with the body in its development phase, zero to three, three to six, six to nine, nine to 12 and then the community. The second part is making sure that we allow room for development, be it in a relationship, be it for the child to develop. So my general rule for parenting is never do something for a child, where they have shown that they're capable of doing it themselves. Don't step in and solve their problems. Don't step in and tidy up the room because they didn't get to do it, don't step in. So I'm saying all these don'ts, but I'm just basically giving you these points, that if your child has shown that they can go ahead and do their own laundry, don't do their laundry for them. Right. Have them figure out where in their schedule in their life, they can devote some time so that they can do their laundry. So in doing so not only do they learn about the laundry, as being part of their life but they also learn time management. Right? And the same thing can go on with social interaction, risk assessment, and things like that as well. And then the last result, the first one was work with the body. Second one was allow room for the development. And then, if you have done the first two, the last one kind of happens naturally, which is to constantly align with your true self. So, if you have allowed room for yourself to exist, for others to exist, naturally everybody is aligned with who they are, so they can step into that. So you drop the judgment, and you see something as, this is what I'm about, good or bad, doesn't matter. This is what you're about. To go against it is gonna make you unhappy and as you're unhappy, you're going to bring unhappiness to the world in you. So it makes much more sense for you to stay alive and stay true and evolve with that. And then through that find out how to serve the world with your gifts.

Meilin Ehlke  39:15
Yeah, leaving room to flourish. I mean that's what everyone tries to teach in the spiritual world now. You learn that in coaching. It's so late. Most of us, you know, in the second or third phase of our life.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  39:32  
Yes.

Meilin Ehlke  39:33  
And now we're suddenly supposed to do it. Yeah. So it's a good thing to do it as a young parent. I was a little older parent, yeah. But for those of you guys and women who are young, take the time, even if you know you want to become a parent one day. Who are you? Or if you want to do it as Dr. L. said so beautifully for a relationship. It will give you so much, heads up, I think, as you say in English. Right? Because you know what you want. You can talk differently about your desires, you will act different on what you create, what you do, right, people will notice. You have a different posture, that goes back to the body. If you walk your knowledge. If you walk your truth and act on your own impulses, on your own intuition, that is already life changing, and then you will also understand later when a child does the same, or your partner does exactly the same. Right? It creates an understanding. It creates also a curiosity.

Meilin Ehlke  41:00  
So perfect. Oh, this was such a beautiful conversation, Dr L. So if someone wants to get in contact with you, where can they reach you best?

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  41:14 
Well, we are on Facebook, under Role Model Maker. My company's called Role Model Maker, but you can always reach me directly at doctorl@rolemodelmaker.com And that's the word Doctor spelled out with the letter L, and role model maker.com That's probably the most direct and easiest way to reach out to me. And if you are in need of a discovery session, or a consultation or need a mentor or some guidance, or just want to actually use somebody as a soundboard, somebody that will allow you room to actually exist. A lot of us don't have that, so feel free to reach out.

Meilin Ehlke 41:55
Uhhh, that is so generous. Pick his brain. Pick it. Soak in, Dr. Ali's generosity, in a way softness and understanding and vast wisdom. Connect with him. Also if you desire connect with me and everyone else who's listening, under our Facebook group Moving To Oneness. And yeah, explore who you are. Observe your children in a new way. Become curious what they're exposing to you. And invite them to do it more, as I invite you to do that as well more. So, thank you, Dr Ali for being on the Moving To Oneness show and sharing your beautiful insights with us. I wish you the best.

Dr. L - Ali Lankerani  42:49
Thank you so much. It was a pleasure to be here, thank you all for listening as well. Thank you.

Meilin Ehlke  42:53  
Goodbye everyone. Bye, bye.