On this episode Meilin Ehlke opens space with Emmy Award–winning life coach Rhonda Britten to journey into fear’s depths, where compassion and courage transform shame into freedom, authenticity, and luminous connection.
Fear is not here to be eliminated but to be understood, embraced, and transcended. In this heartfelt conversation, Meilin Ehlke sits with Emmy Award–winning life coach Rhonda Britten to explore how fear speaks through perfectionism, people-pleasing, procrastination, and negative self-talk, and how we can soften its grip with love and compassion. Together they walk through Rhonda's Wheel of Fear / Wheel of Freedom, discovering how these patterns are not flaws but protective mechanisms waiting to be released. By acknowledging and honoring our fears, we open the door to forgiveness, wholeness, and authentic self-expression. As we embrace our true selves, we bring more courage, kindness, and belonging into the collective field of oneness.
**Rhonda Britten is a living example of transformation through fearlessness.**
At just 14, she endured a tragic loss that led to years of struggle with shame and fear. Out of that pain, she discovered a path to freedom — creating her groundbreaking **Wheel of Fear / Wheel of Freedom** method.
Today, she is an **Emmy-winning life coach, bestselling author, and founder of the Fearless Living Institute**, guiding thousands to break free from fear and step into their true selves.
What I love most about Rhonda is that her wisdom comes from lived experience — she embodies the freedom she teaches, reminding us that fear can become the gateway to oneness.
00:08:53 Embracing Fear for Transformation and Connection
00:11:39 Embracing Authenticity: Dissolving Fears for Self-Expression
00:14:55 Reframing Fear Responses for Self-Acceptance
00:20:11 Embracing Fear for Personal Growth and Connection
00:32:22 Navigating Fear with the Wheel of Freedom
00:42:55 Interconnected Kindness: Self-Love Through Oneness
00:48:29 Cultivating Self-Love for Positive Transformation
00:48:55 Embracing Courage and Breaking Self-Limiting Beliefs
00:57:47 Fear Dissolution for Authentic Growth with Rhonda Britten
Connect with Rhonda Britten:
https://www.instagram.com/rhondabritten
https://fearlessliving.org
As mentioned during the episode, Rhonda Britten gifted you a free class. Go for your bonus gift here: https://fearlessliving.org/risk
Moving to oneness. Nourishing curiosity. Embracing differences. Being One.
00:00:19 - Meilin Ehlke
The world is such a beautiful place and you know, you spark so much light out into the world and sometimes you notice it is a little difficult for you. But no worries. Stay tuned today because many things will change after you've listened to today's episode.
Hello, everyone, I'm Meilin Ehlke, your host of the Moving to Oneness podcast. Yes, stay tuned because I have a beautiful guest for you that has gone through so many things, like many of you, many of you healers and wayshowers. And she found ways to catapult herself into the future. And deep in her heart, she desires to do that for everybody. Everyone. And I do sense and I would even so say I know she is gonna make it, not just do it. So please everyone welcome with me from California sitting in LA, the big city, Rhonda Britten. Thank you, Rhonda, for being on the Moving to Oneness podcast. Wonderful to have you here.
00:01:54 - Rhonda Britten
Thank you. Well, how can I deny moving to oneness, since that is exactly what we all must be doing, whether we're conscious or unconscious of it. That is what we're all doing.
00:02:04 - Meilin Ehlke
Yeah. And I put my nose into your work and whenever you can, you exactly highlight that and explain that to people, that when moving forward, we have to become whole.
00:02:22 - Rhonda Britten
Yes.
00:02:23 - Meilin Ehlke
And I would like later to read I got a little excerpt out of your, I think, latest book it was. And everyone, she has four fantastic books she's written over her life and many other things. But Rhonda, how did you get to writing those? They're all about change for us, to dissolve our fear and in a way so we can be who we are. What is it that you noticed? Let's make it smaller because you have a vast history that you noticed, you love to write and that writing is a way or the words, language is a way to touch people really deep in their heart?
00:03:12 - Rhonda Britten
Gosh. Wow. That's such a good question. You know, I've been writing since I was young and I didn't think I was ever going to be a writer. But I journaled. I still have one of my first little journals where I used to basically, it would be called a commonplace book now. I was keeping those when I was 10, 12, 14 years old, and I still have one of those. And I would write all my favorite poems and all my favorite quotes and longhand and I would write whatever was moving through me. And I was just trying to make sense of the world, I think, you know, no one told me to do that no one. I never read a book about it. I just knew that I had to keep these things at top of mind. And it was only in college when I took a English class that one of my teachers told me, oh my gosh, Rhonda, you could be a writer. And I, like, looked at her like a no. Because in high school, the only class I got to be in the entire time I was going to school was English. I could not get grammar. I could not get prepositions. I could not get, like, I couldn't get the structure of a sentence. And so when my English teacher sitting here telling me in college that I could be a writer, I'm like, looking at her like she's a crazy person.
So, I never thought of myself as being a writer. Writing, I think, came to me because it was the only way that I could communicate in any big way when I first started, because I started teaching and coaching in 1995. So I've been doing this for 30 years.
00:04:52 - Meilin Ehlke
Thank you.
00:04:53 - Rhonda Britten
And you know, there wasn't Internet. Internet was just coming out, but there was no Internet. There was no YouTube, there was no videos, There was no nothing. So, I would write to my list. I would write to my list every week, three times a week. And that started a process of me to trust whatever was moving through me would unfold and be exactly what needed to be heard. And that is what I've done since. So I've trusted more that spark within me than my own skill.
Now, over the years, I've gotten more skillful. I actually went and got an MFA during COVID during the Pandemic, because I really asked myself if I could be known for one thing, one thing in the one thing period. Besides the mission, of course, of making the world fearless. But one vehicle, it would be writing. So I went and got my MFA and it was mind blowing. All the things about, I mean, writing, you can never. The process of becoming a better writer is never ending.
00:05:58 - Meilin Ehlke
Yes. Yes. It's like language, right? Words we create, it's deep within us. It's a way of communication that the whole world uses.
00:06:08 - Rhonda Britten
Yeah. And I'm a fanatic about language because I feel like we, you know, moving beyond abundance, thinking, i.e. . We create our reality through our language. But even more so, that is true. And the way that we talk, we talk to the world and is how we're talking to ourselves. And so I'm pretty fanatical about how people use language in order to. To describe themselves as well as describe what's happening to them, as well as describe the World.
So, one of the things I do with my clients and my students is I'm constantly cleaning up language. I feel like that's one of my jobs, is cleaning up language. You know, are you empowering or disempowering yourself? And I'm a firm believer in once you understand the empowering language over disempowering language, then you can let go of the black and white. You can get let go of the, you know, negative and positive. All that. All that other black and white.
00:07:00 - Meilin Ehlke
I love that. Yes. So important.
00:07:02 - Rhonda Britten
Yeah.
00:07:03 - Meilin Ehlke
Because it's an array. You know, I love to paint. Or if you look outside now, as I look out of the window, there's an array of green. And we are trained too much to think just A or B. And you said words. I'm similar. I believe also it's very important that we speak in beauty. Right? Really? Using what, every vowel, how it sounds like, that we speak in our voice, that we open up our chest. We lost our sacred languages. I know English.
So many languages were destroyed over the last thousand years by people that wanted the power and they could take away things. And I think I had to think about that, while I was reading your book is right. If you take away the language or the playfulness or the creativity and the possibility of creating new words. Right. Because it's a lively thing.
And looking for sounds because sounds were created from the landscape or nature, how it was very regional, and we've lost that. And I think we feel uncomfortable. We all speak similar, but we live in different places in the world. We look different. And what is the common denominator? I think many, many sounds are bringing healing. So from my shamanic side, the right word brings more healing, and as you pointed out, the wrong word brings destruction or creates even more fear in oneself and in others.
00:08:53 - Rhonda Britten
Yeah. And I would take it another step, which is that fear or that destruction could be your opening to actually be healed. Right? So sometimes we have to go down, to go up. We don't have to, but sometimes that is our journey. And sometimes we have to play, so to speak. You know, I don't want to say play with the devil, but that's what's moving through me. Play with the devil, so to speak, in order to find our heart again, to find our access to our soul.
So, you know, if we believe, and if I believe, if I believe that everything's happening for a reason, if I believe that everything's divine, if I believe that everything is created for our good, than even the things that we deem destructive? Of course. Do I want those things? Of course not. You know, they're happening in our country right now. Everything is being destroyed. Do I want that? No, I do not. Do I want to do everything to stop it? Yes, I do.
And yet that destruction is calling something within me to stand for things that I might have taken for granted or ignored or not been able to see in my own life. And how was I contributing to it? So sometimes when that darkness comes up, instead of turning away, which too many people do, it's turned towards it and say, okay, what is this here for? What is this. What is this gift here for me? And, you know, I believe that's what. What's happening to our country, what's happening to many places in the world, is a call for, okay, well, wait. What do you really believe in? What do you. What do you. What. What do you really believe in?
And we as individuals have to decide what we believe in. And we have to look at our lives to determine what we believe in, because we can say all the beautiful words we want, but it's our life that shows us what we believe. It's our life. It's our life choices that show us what our values are. It's how our life is created that shows us who we are. And sometimes that's hard to swallow, right? That's hard to fathom, that's hard to turn towards. But in fact, that is where the fearlessness comes, is our willingness to see ourselves as humble. You know, being humble to be. See ourselves as vehicles for change, to see ourselves as openings for transformation, to see ourselves as whole human beings, even if we feel fragmented. But just.
What if I was whole even now? What if I was whole even now? What if I was whole even now? Right. What is. What if I was whole even now? And gives us the opening to, I think, love ourselves at a deep. In a deeper, deeper way and forgive ourselves and release the past that we're hanging onto or the. The shame that we're secretly, you know, hoarding and let that all go.
00:11:39 - Meilin Ehlke
Hmm. That's beautiful. I feel that this is happening and that you brought that vision alive and that you, as you were, as you are speaking, you are setting an intention of this vision to happen for all of us. So, thank you very much. That is very touching.
00:11:59 - Rhonda Britten
So it is. I say it. So it is. I say. And so it is. Right? That's all we have. Right? When you bring up language, you know, in some ways, language is one of the things that is all we have. Right?
00:12:12 - Meilin Ehlke
Yeah.
00:12:12 - Rhonda Britten
You Know and some on some level.
00:12:13 - Meilin Ehlke
And to speak, you know, to speak out what we think you did, you touched on many, many very important things. So, one is a feeling whole. So the more we feel whole, the more we become ourselves. And there's later a question. The more we ourselves, we start understanding ourselves, we start understanding how we function, where it's easier for us to express ourselves. Right?
But often we have fears, and we're drilled to have fears. Right? That's generational. That's a cultural. So there the question. Because I spoke with a friend of mine and I asked her, what would you ask about what Fear release. And the one that was also in my head, so that we laughed both about that. But we have so much fears, small ones. And, you know, you spoke on those that the silent contracts. We don't speak up. We're afraid how other people see us, maybe that we don't fit in.
Especially, let's say, if you're spiritual, this whole audience here, you have been laughed upon if you didn't grow up in the right surrounding. So, what can we do? Do you have a way to show or minimize or even disolve the fear of being oneself, of being who we are?
Because as soon as we bring that light of being ourselves, and that's happening in everywhere, and you were mentioning that, you know, whatever is happening in politics, it does ask us to, in a way, stand up for ourselves, and that will bring change. I'm a big believer. I see the positive.
But for that to happen, and in all of your beautiful experience you had, I mean, ten thousands of people working with you, watching your shows, you touched many, many, many millions. Your books touched so many people around the globe because they were translated.
But what would you say out of all of that, is there. What could a person do to dissolve the one, or maybe there are a few major fears so they can become who they are?
00:14:55 - Rhonda Britten
Okay, so the first thing that I would do is. First thing that I do is I believe we actually have to know what we're afraid of. Right. So many people say that, oh, I have a fear of not being good enough. And I say, yes. And that is the generic version of what I call the Wheel of Fear. So I created something called the Wheel of Fear, which we'll talk about in just a minute. But before I go there, one of the aspects of the Wheel of Fear that again, I'll explain in just a minute, is what I call fear responses. And so many people identify with their fear responses and actually think that is who they are and that is how they define themselves. And that is what they think their problems are and that is what they identify themselves, you know, their character flaws. And so one of the first things I'd love to do is just have people think about, I'm going to read a list, if you're willing.
00:15:49 - Meilin Ehlke
Oh, please go ahead.
00:15:50 - Rhonda Britten
I'm going to read a list and while I'm reading this list, if you're willing to shut your eyes, and as I'm reading it, if these things, if you do any of these things or feel any of these things, I want you to nod your head.
Because one of the first things we must do is actually determine how fear is showing up in our lives. Because too many of us, including myself for most of my life didn't relate to the word fear. I didn't relate to I'm scared or I'm afraid. I didn't relate to that at all. I grew up, I'm 100% Finnish. I grew up in a Finnish household, right? And you know, if, you know the Finns, we don't talk about feelings, right? We don't talk about, we don't feel. Right? So, you know, and so I was never taught that feelings were okay. I actually believe feelings were not okay, right? And fear was definitely not something that I ever admitted I felt or scared. I never ever did that.
So I'm going to read a list of words and if you can shut your eyes, if you're in a safe place to shut your eyes, feel free to nod your head. So you are saying yes to yourself. Like, yes, I'm doing this. Yes, I'm doing this.
So do you ever deny yourself?
Do you ever hide out?
Do you ever whine?
Do you ever judge?
Do you ever isolate yourself?
Do you ever deflect?
Do you ever secretly blame?
Do you wait and call the patience?
Do you settle?
Do you get defensive?
Do you struggle?
How about compare?
Do you pretend everything's okay when it's not?
Do you control?
What about manipulate?
What about complain, compromise, procrastinate, worry?
Do you ever feel bitter?
Do you ever feel entitled?
What about guilty, Irritated?
What about resentful, powerless?
Do you get confused, annoyed?
Do you get disappointed?
Do you ever feel ignored?
What about caught in self pity?
What about indifferent?
Do you ever find yourself being a perfectionist or a people pleaser?
Do you ever feel dissatisfied, self centered?
What about victimized?
So go ahead and open your eyes and for those of you who, I don't know if you need a chiropractor because your neck might be hurting right now, but what I noticed is most of the people who I read those to, and I don't know what was true for you, but most of the people, when I'm doing a workshop or an event, whether it's 100 people or 1,000 people, I would say 95% of the people have almost 100%. So most people nod their head at almost everyone.
So I just want folks to hear that if you do any of these things or feel any of these things, you're not alone. And this is the language, how fear shows up in our life when we are, you know, manipulating and even secretly, like secretly manipulating to keep ourselves safe. That is fear. If you are judging another or yourself, that's fear. If you are complaining. Right, that's fear. So the language, those words that I just spoke out loud are signs that you have fear. That fear is on patrol. That fear is making that decision for you. That fear is deciding your thoughts. And I think that's so important because for me, I never equated any of those things with fear. I never even understood how fear showed up. So once we can start seeing and starting to understand, wait a minute, these are all the ways fear shows up, then you can actually start looking at fear itself. So how did you do in the nodding your head?
00:19:38 - Meilin Ehlke
There were many. They're not everywhere. Yes, but yes, there were. And I also know I pulled back often in my life.
00:19:48 - Rhonda Britten
Yes.
00:19:49 - Meilin Ehlke
I also became quiet. I learned that about, you know, me. Some go forward, I'm the one who really compromised. Became quiet. Everything went smooth. You know, I've earth thought at the beginning it's more that because we're women or something. But yes, it's a fear.
00:20:11 - Rhonda Britten
Yes, yes. So when I started understanding that, because most of my life I thought that all those things were who I was. Right. I blamed myself for those things. And I would be like, I have to stop doing those things. And I would beat myself up and be like, stop it, Rhonda. You gotta quit, you know, doing this and you gotta start doing this instead. And all of that just self perpetuated the feeling that I wasn't good enough. It just perpetuated that I didn't have it correct. Right. It just self perpetuated. It just perpetuated everything.
So until I was able to put these into what I call fear responses and I was able to reframe and relabel these things. Then when I did that, I was actually able to breathe more because I was no longer shaming myself or blaming myself or beating myself up for these things. I actually was able to move them outside of myself and see them with clear eyes and goes, oh, if I'm blaming, it just means I'm activated by a fear. Oh, if I'm shaming myself, that's just a fear. Oh, oh, okay. I'm not a bad person. I'm not weak, I'm not lazy, I'm not incompetent, you know, I'm not stupid, etc. You know, these are just things that happen in order that I used in order to protect myself. So once I started understanding that, that was kind of the beginning of what I call the wheel of fear.
Now for most people. I just want to say that the way our neurobiology works, the way our neuroscience works, is fear is part of who we are. There is no getting rid of fear. There is transcending fear, but there's no getting rid of it. It's part of who we are. So I think that's one of the other things that I know that was really important for me to really understand. It's that I wasn't, like I said, weak or a loser or worthless. You know, Right? I wasn't those things. I was just doing what my brain was wired to do. And until I rewired my brain, until I was able to shift that, I would continue to do that. And that wasn't because I was weak. That wasn't because I was, again, lazy. That wasn't because I know it was because I didn't understand what was happening to me.
So one of the first things that I believe that we get to do as human beings is actually become aware, right? And when we become aware, the good news is we become aware and we have choice. You know, the bad news is, is when we become aware, it usually comes with a lot of our past raining down on us and we remember all. All the choices we make and regret comes up or feelings of like, oh, my God, I wish I wouldn't have done that, right? All the disappointment and regret comes up and all of that then can be transcended as well. Because we don't have to stick in that regret, we don't have to stick in that disappointment. We don't have to stick and look at our past. Instead, if we really understand that it's our brain that is trying to keep ourselves safe and it's our neurobiology trying to keep ourselves safe, then we have a lot more freedom and a lot more possibility to make different choices.
00:23:06 - Meilin Ehlke
That's so beautiful because I also think, right, we are not born nowadays where parents take us in their arm and they recognize or a community recognize what a purpose or gifts we bring to this world so that we're trained. It already starts early that we're not seen for what we are, and there is no fitting in. So I'm speaking mostly now, again, from the audience that is listening to Moving To Oneness. So this is one of the first ones where we are uncomfortable and, in a way, fearful to express. But sometimes we see fear in understanding others, in saying things, in acting. And then it takes someone like you to have a strong determination within yourself to find answers. You know, you felt something was not right, and you went and looked for it. That came over and over and over, Right. If it was your journaling at the beginning or later getting help or you created experiences that really pushed you somewhere else to find answers and build it together.
00:24:19 - Rhonda Britten
Yeah, I mean, I was desperate. There was no. Like, I didn't. I didn't do this out of like, oh, I want to learn how to master fear. No, this was not. This was not a, Oh, let's do this. No, that was not how I stumbled upon this or how I was called to do this. No, mine was from a desperate place. And it goes back to what we talked about earlier, which is sometimes our desperation is, you know, the way through, the way that we become who we're meant to be. Right. So we never judge any experience we're having. We just go, okay, what is this about? How can I become more of who I am in this moment? So I'll just briefly share the desperation I felt, and maybe other people can relate.
00:24:56 - Meilin Ehlke
Please.
00:24:57 - Rhonda Britten
But, you know, I believe the worst days of our lives have a seed of our destiny in it. And if we can wrap our head around that, you know, if we can wrap our head around that, then our bad days, the ones that we think we're creating right now. Right. The tough times we're in now, we go, okay, wait a minute. If the worst days of our lives have the seed of our destiny, this too is going to get us towards our destiny, right? These days are going to get us there, right? So my worst days were when I was. Well, some of my worst days. But my. The worst day was definitely when I was 14 years old and I grew up in a little town in Upper Michigan where the most Finnish people live in the United States, in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Right? And we have 360 inches of snow. Right now, as I speak in now, we just had 20 more inches in the last week. So we think, we've had over 320 inches this year alone of snow. And so that's where I grew up. And we had two restaurants, the fancy Douglas House Buffet and Big Boy.
00:26:03 - Rhonda Britten
That's it. We had no McDonald's, no. No fancy fast food. And my parents had recently separated and it was Father's Day. And so my father was going to take us out for Sunday brunch. And this was a big deal because there's three girls, two parents, five people. That's a lot of money. We didn't do that. And so my father is going to come over and take us all out. My mother and I are in her bedroom. She's fluffing up her beehive hairdo and putting on her blue eyeshadow and putting on her rose colored lipstick. And my two sisters are fighting it out in our one bathroom. And as my mom's fluffing up her beehive, my dad walks in the back door. And I can hear him going, come on, let's go, let's go, girls, let's go. Because that's what dads do. And me and my mom start walking towards the back door. My sister's still in the bathroom, fighting it out.
00:26:47 - Rhonda Britten
And as me and my mother and my father start walking out, it's starting to rain. So my father says he has to get his coat from the car. Now, this coat is a tan Naugahide leisure suit coat. And if you're old enough to remember, leisure suit coats were hot. So my dad was getting his hot looking coat. And so me and my mom walk out with my dad. He goes towards his trunk. And out of the corner of my eye, I realize that he is not grabbing a coat, but he has grabbed a gun.
And he starts yelling at my mother, you made me do this. You made me do this. And he fires. And I start screaming, dad, what are you doing? Dad, what are you doing? Stop. And he takes the gun, cocks it again, points it at me. And I absolutely believe I'm next. And we're frozen in time in that moment. He blinks, I blink, he blinks, I blink. And we're just frozen together. Him staring at me. I'm staring at him, waiting for the next moment to happen. And my mother, seeing that gun in my face, literally with her last breath, screams out, no, Don't. And my father, realizing that my mother's still alive, takes that bullet intended for me and shoots my mother a second time. And that second bullet goes through my mother's abdomen, out her back, lands in the car horn. And for the next 20 minutes, all I hear is, then my father cocks the gun a third time, puts it to his head, and fires.
So in a matter of two minutes, I was the sole witness of watching my father murder my mother and commit suicide in front of me. Now, I don't know how other people would respond, but this is how I responded. I blamed myself because I was the only one physically out there that could have stopped him. And I didn't grab the gun and I didn't kick him in the shins, and I didn't even jump in front of my mother.
And now they're both dead. So I, in that moment, basically split into two. The outside Rhonda and the inside Rhonda. The outside Rhonda. I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine, I'm fine. I mean, that afternoon, our minister came to the house, and, I mean, I literally looked at him and said, I'm fine. Yeah, I forgave my father. I mean, I. Yeah, I'm fine. No, I'm fine. And that's how I lived most of the next 20 years of my life, is I'm fine. But the inside, I clearly wasn't fine and wasn't fine for, you know, for many years. And during those years, I started trying to find ways to deal with the feelings that were inside of me that were eating me alive, right?
And one of the things I found was alcohol. So I started drinking. I eventually became an alcoholic. I ended up getting three DUIs. I tried to kill myself three times. And it was that third suicide attempt that I realized something. I realized that I'm not very good at killing myself, not skilled at it. And that there has to be another way. And by the way, when you try to kill yourself three times, they do put you in a psychiatric ward for evaluation.
00:29:37 - Rhonda Britten
So I was put in a psych ward and evaluated for a few days. And at the end of. I think it was like, four days, they deemed me not crazy, sent me home, and I live by myself in a little studio apartment, which, by the way, is not a good idea when you're suicidal.
And I remember thinking to myself, you know, the last 20 years, during those years, I went to therapy, I read books, I went to workshops.
I did everything that you were supposed to do to change your life. And here I was again, you know, trying to kill myself. And so while all those things were good, I realized I had a lot of tools. I had a lot of knowledge. I had a lot of knowledge, but I didn't know how to apply that knowledge to My life. And I didn't know how to live that way.
And so I realized that I had to start over. I had to start over. And I remember sitting there the first day I got home from the psychiatric ward, and I was leaning against my wall, one of my walls in my little apartment, and I slid down, hit my butt and just went, just so exasperated, like I have to start all over.
And I remember thinking to myself, what do kindergartners do? What do kindergartners do? Well, they get a calendar and gold stars. So I actually went to the store, got a calendar and gold stars, and I gave myself a gold star for anything that I did, anything that was good, any, any little small change I made. And I'm talking about getting angry and not breaking something. That's the level I was at, you know, just any, any positive movement forward. And at the end of 30 days, I had a calendar with gold stars, you know, filled with gold stars. And that gave me hope that I could start over, that I could change my life. And those tools and skills were lovely, but I had to learn why they weren't getting soaked into my cells and why I wasn't able to live those tools and skills that I had in my body and brain.
And really through the next few years, it all unfolded step by step because again, I was, I, you know, I grew up Finnish. I didn't, you know, can't be afraid. So it took me several years after that of me really working the gold stars and really starting to take control, more control of my life, to really recognize that I was afraid. And that, I mean, just even saying those words, I'm afraid were mind blowing to me because it was just so foreign to me to talk about fear or being scared.
00:32:22 - Rhonda Britten
But admitting that I was afraid was actually the most freeing thing I could ever do because I was no longer running from it, right? Or hiding from it or pretending it didn't exist. Instead I was going, I'm afraid. I'm scared. I'm scared, you know, shitless, right? I'm scared. And when I was able to admit that to myself, then it's almost like my stories unraveled, right? Everything started to unravel in a powerful, positive way because I had wound it up tight and trying to keep it together.
And it started unwinding where I could start seeing fear for the goodness that it was and for the educational tool it was and for the access point that it was that would let me be free. So that is when I started to understand how fear worked and started to Create what I now call the Wheel of Fear and the Wheel of Freedom.
00:33:22 - Meilin Ehlke
Yeah, yeah. If I understood the wheels, it is the freedom what brings me to it. And I love that it's a wheel, right? It's a movement we're moving for. And it, it's an evolution, it's one experience. And I love that with the little stars that you put up, every little movement at the beginning, it's a, you know, hard. And as a wheel gets into the movement it gets.
00:33:50 - Rhonda Britten
That's right.
00:33:51 - Meilin Ehlke
Can run faster and faster than we.
00:33:53 - Rhonda Britten
Can be faster because you know, right.
00:33:55 - Meilin Ehlke
And you created that and you looked also what was there that took me backwards in the other directions. I didn't want to go or you didn't want to go, right, Rhonda? So you looked what pulled you back and then you looked also what moved you forward. And you created out of this these beautiful wheels to free people to become who they are.
00:34:19 - Rhonda Britten
That's right. Because you know, when people describe when their life isn't working for them, how many people describe, I'm on like a hamster on a wheel, right? I'm just going around and around and around. And then people say, oh, well, why am I stuck again? I thought, I thought I cured this. I thought I was over this. Why am I doing this again? Because it's a never ending wheel. And unless you can see the mechanism, unless you can see the wheel of fear, what I call it, unless you can see the mechanism and see how it applies to your life, it will constantly trick you. Because what your core fear is, is something that does not want to be seen.
So fear keeps us, our body and brain, keeps us occupied and distracted by those fear responses that I talked about earlier. You know, you think, go ahead and worry about people pleasing, go ahead and worry about perfectionism, go ahead and worry about procrastination. Go ahead and worry about your anxiety. Go ahead and worry about, you know, A, B and C. Yeah, you focus on those. Those are your problems. Well, those aren't your problems. Those are actually a symptom of your one core problem, which is your core fear. And once you understand what your core fear is, then everything else, all the ways that you, quote, unquote, act out your fears become so palatable. They become so, you can look at them with so much love because you go, oh, there I am again, blaming, you know, there I am again, you know, trying to shame myself. There I am again, you know, trying to have judgment, you know, in order to keep myself safe. Oh, there I am again.
And so you can look at it not from a place of I'm a horrible person because I do this. Instead, it's like, ah, my neurobiology. The way that the wheel works is doing its job. And I get to choose. Do I want to stay on my wheel of fear or do I get to jump on my wheel of freedom. And that is free will. That is your free will. You can stay on your wheel of fear and stay unconscious, or you can wake up and decide, ah, I'm willing to step over on my wheel of freedom and start living from that place. And when you're living on your wheel of freedom, it's not that life gets easier. It's not that you don't have problems still, or that you know you have hardship. But what you're doing is you actually do become your best friend. You actually do know what to do. You're no longer having that internal dialogue about what's wrong with you. Instead, you have a pathway forward so that you can move forward even what, whatever's going on around you. You can still be in freedom, right? You can still be. You can actually still be happy and still be joyful even though the world is collapsing around you.
00:36:58 - Meilin Ehlke
Yes. You know, I learned for myself that I wasn't really so bad when I was once laughing while I was crying. Yes, I was so sad. So I said, oh my God. There was hope and everything coming out of that. And I do believe very strongly when we don't fear, when this condense, we pull together, right? Fear makes us, our body pull together. When all these stars happen, more and more movement comes back into the body. We're not stagnant anymore. We become immovable, then creates the creation.
00:37:38 - Rhonda Britten
Yes.
00:37:39 - Meilin Ehlke
The body is free to move as it desires to move. That is important, also it frees energy.
00:37:52 - Rhonda Britten
100%.
00:37:54
And you said, right, so. And I do believe that every little star opens up even further like a flower. It opens up and we show each ourselves and then we can see besides seen more as who we are. And also what I've learned, Rhonda, from my own personal life experience and difficulties, is the more I become who I am or looking at myself, becoming aware of how I function, how I speak, how I act, how I eat, how I sleep. I mean, you start looking everywhere and there's more relaxation and joyfulness, creativity, peacefulness that moves in.
00:38:37 - Rhonda Britten
Yes.
00:38:38 - Meilin Ehlke
I noticed it in others. So I in a way, I become and live more in my rhythm when there's less and less of those fears contracting me everywhere. That's how I see it and the others are able to do that. So. And I believe in the bigger picture even it's not just maybe your child or your partner, your parents, but you can notice it suddenly when you go out into the world and you go get a grocery shopping or you go to the baker or you go to another place, people begin interacting different. Because our light.
So what happens when we are not so condensed and our cells spark again and become more lightful as a light in two ways, brightness, but also by weight. We start walking different. And yes, fears come back. Well, let's say a deeper level or a deepness if you desire to change it. Right. You can hone in and see, oh, what's holding me back.
And I heard something that just touched me last week when I was listening to something. He was an actor and also TV person like you. And he said when he started then writing, I didn't write for so, so long because I was afraid I would be good. I would be good. And I thought, oh my God, that's so many of us.
We pull back and we hear all the negative things that made us fearful because oh my God, what happens if we're good? And again, it's thousands of years and if we look at the women or men. Right. I'm not going there to the witch hunt. But there are big fears that are in the soil. And I think exactly what you're doing, every tiny bit creates change. And I think it even pulls it out of the landscape. It pulls it out of the ether and everything can go into its rhythm.
Your work is, I think, one of the most important things that can be done. Many people around the world, if they didn't grow up in a beautiful cultural and society which haven't been really understood.
00:41:02 - Rhonda Britten
Right.
00:41:02 - Meilin Ehlke
Yeah, it's hard. There are gems around this world, but to free them up to, to, to give each other space, it feels like the whole body we can expand and move in togetherness instead of separateness, which fear was created or brutalized, that we even feel more as individuals and not together. And you write about that and speak about that over and over and over to do that together. And I think now the energies and time is here where we come together.
00:41:43 - Rhonda Britten
Yes.
00:41:44 - Meilin Ehlke
Where we can speak with the friends. One she said, oh Meilin that's your fear. I said, yeah, yeah, so please help me get out of this. I can see someone else's fear. Yeah, I can help her or I can help him. That we're here for each other to be. Hold this space or in that moment be a little patience. Then that's important so they can go through what their normal way has been to go through the fear of pushing back and acting out loud, whatever, just to observe it, become aware. So there's suddenly a second person. And you do that in your work. But everyone who's.
Who's listening, now. Try it with your best friend. It's the easiest. You don't have to do it alone. And whatever you. You. You pick up from Rhonda today, or if you research her more, you will learn that do reach. Do you want to maybe share, asI 'm talking about you so much, so I don't forget, how people can reach you so that they can work with you?
00:42:55 - Rhonda Britten
Sure. And I just love everything you're saying because, you know, the name of your podcast is Moving To Oneness. And, you know, if we believe, again, if we believe that oneness is the truth of who we are, if oneness is really what is happening here, then. And if we are all one already, then every person is part and parcel of who we are, and so therefore, helping somebody else wake up or loving them in spite of their behavior is loving yourself in spite of your behavior. Right. So either we're all one or we're all not one. And I choose to believe we're all one. And so if I believe that you and I are one, then I can make the choice to maybe I can't be kind and patient to myself right now, but maybe I can be kind and patient to myself through you. Right? I can be kind and patient to you, which then, you know, catapults me back to myself and allows me to feel that glow of what that gift is.
So maybe somebody who's listening to us right now think, oh, my God, You know, I don't know if I'm ready to forgive myself and let the past go and, you know, release myself into the oneness. Great. Then practice it with somebody else, like you said. And one of the things that I really encourage is if you pick up my book 'Fearless Living', or if you do, my number one class that describes all the work of Fearless Living is Fearless Living Transformation Program. I invite you to do it with a friend because your fear does not want to be found. So it's not about, oh, this is my fear. Trust me. What you think you're afraid of is not your core fear. I guarantee it's a fear response. So people say to me all the time, oh, I know what my fear is. I know what my number one fear is. I'm like, really? Do tell. Oh, my mother called me lazy all the time. Well, that shows me that it's not lazy because your mother called you that all the time. So you're used to that. Trust me, it is way trickier than that because fear knows everything about you. It's as smart as you are, as knowledgeable as you are, as spiritual as you are, and as educated as you are. And it uses all of that against you.
So go ahead and go to fearlessliving.org, fearlessliving.org and really, you just have to put Rhonda Britton in anywhere and you'll come to fearlessliving.org, or put Fearless Living in. It'll come to fearlessliving.org so go to fearlessliving.org and forward slash risk, R, I, S K. And I'm gonna give you a free class, a bonus gift, just a little gift for you to start you on your path. And this class is called Stretch, Risk or Die. And it is about starting to move forward, taking risks in your life so that you can take actions leading you to where you want to unfold, where your next unfoldment is.
So we all want to, we all have dreams and goals, whatever those are. And this is my clients and students number one favorite tool besides the wheels is Stretch, Risk and Die. So go on over to fearlessliving.org risk R, I, S, K. And go ahead and put your name and email in. You're gonna get access to three 15 minute videos. It's really fast, really easy, comes with a workbook and a template, has everything you need in it. And it's gonna actually show you what is stopping you, keeping you stuck. And also in the third video, I actually break down the Wheel of Fear. So you're gonna see me with the Wheel of Fear in action. I'm actually gonna talk you through it. So you're gonna see how the Wheel of Fear works. So go on over to fearlessliving.org risk. Grab that.
00:46:28 - Meilin Ehlke
Yeah, everyone do grab it. Because while you were speaking, Rhonda, what I had to think about was first of all, beautiful tools and also in your book, that Fearless Living, you share experiences, you give advice, you share experiences of a client and then right away you bring a way to look at it so it's not you. Never is anyone left hanging. You can. Yes, it is. But small bits. Again, it reminds me of your stars and, and you have a beautiful way of writing and being relatable.
So whoever takes a class stretches. And I love that risk because it's important. It Is now time, even energetically, that I think, especially the next few years, where we need, I'm going to say the word need to become who we are, to work on it. That's the most important thing at the moment. We don't have to worry so much what's happening in the world. We have to concentrate on us. Any miniature improvement, each little star you can stick on that calendar, it goes out, it gets carried by the wind, it gets carried by the energy field. You expand, you touch so many others and change does happen.
So if I know one thing, yes, we all, we are all one. And any change that brings us to the natural state, our own natural state. And Rhonda, you write about that as well, right? The wholeness of us, that natural state support someone else to move into their natural state. And this, Please everyone, do not underestimate the power of you, of bringing change the more you become you. How we can influence how this world becomes.
00:48:29 - Rhonda Britten
Yes. It is hard work.
00:48:30 - Meilin Ehlke
Yeah. And it is hard work. And I'm not going to say you're not going to cry and you're not going to have feel ice cold because works or you retired for days because something is unraveling within you. Yeah, that does happen. But then also there are these moments of joy where you laugh, uh, you have power. I don't know, you can suddenly do everything.
00:48:53 - Rhonda Britten
Everything becomes a lot easier.
00:48:55 - Meilin Ehlke
Yeah.
00:48:55 - Rhonda Britten
When you stop beating yourself up. And negative self talk is the number one tool that fear uses to keep you stuck. Number one. So, you know, fearless living is all about relieving yourself of seeing yourself through the lens of not good enough and whatever version that is for you. And instead seeing yourself as the wholeness, as you describe, as you say, the essential nature that you are and able to access that more. Because as you're speaking right now, if I am my, if I am living in my essential nature, then I am contributing that to the pool of oneness which then consciously, unconsciously, the world is picking up on. I may never know, right? I may never know that 10 people that picked up on my, you know, embracing my oneness in that moment doesn't matter. And they have no idea who I am, but it, it doesn't matter. In that moment, somebody is gaining courage.
So one of the things that I do when I am, you know, on my wheel of fear, and maybe I still like him going, oh, my God, you know, I don't deserve it. Again, all that false conversation that we have with ourselves. I think about people that I love, my nieces who are, you know, younger than me by 20, 25 years. Right. And I also think of people in other countries and, you know, sometimes I say to myself, Rhonda, don't do it for yourself, do it for them. Right?
00:50:24 - Meilin Ehlke
It becomes easier.
00:50:25 - Rhonda Britten
It becomes easier and I have more courage. So sometimes it's not about like, oh, I deserve it and I'm going to do it for myself. Look, if you can't do it for yourself, do it for someone you love or do it for. If you're watching the news and you see a child going through a difficult time, do it for that child. Because everything we're doing, like you say, contributes to the oneness. And so my courage is given to. I bring that courage in the pool, that fearlessness into the pool, that love in the pool. And that's the whole thing. When you're willing to be fearless, what the real benefit is, you love yourself and you love others and you have more patience and you have more kindness and you have more compassion and you have more connection.
The number one human need we have is connection and belonging to. And most of the time we're trying to, as you said earlier, fit in in order to get that connection and belonging, which means don't be yourself, be like everyone else so you fit in. But in fact, the way we feel connected and belong really is by being true to ourselves and allowing and encouraging other people to be true to themselves, because then we are connected and belonging because we're living the one life. So I really encourage, you know, each person listening to. Go to fearlessliving.org risk RISK, learn about the wheel of fear. Learn this tool. Stretchers can die. It's going to help you write. It's going to help you today. It's going to help you today in this moment. It's going to help you today. And so I really encourage you to jump over there and put your name and email and get access to that course.
00:51:53 - Meilin Ehlke
Yeah. And give it to others. I had to think about the youth, how important that is when they choose what life or profession they want. Are they living themselves or are they already a little different than our generation, when we still maybe did what their parents wanted? Or maybe if not, you were already a rebel, but still that they learned that early enough to children, they're easy to play with. If you live alone, don't have anyone, everyone, you can have a pet and feel comfort, speak something out, maybe aloud, tell them your story or lean against a tree or lie on the grass, and there you have someone to go into a relationship to relate. And so sometimes it's hard. Maybe one is shy. It's hard to go to another person or you don't know who to turn to. But nature is there. Even a rock, our oldest ancestor, right. They're there and they can feel you. And it's just a feeling where you start feeling comfortable and safe to express yourself and to beginning to become aware or to encourage yourself. Someone is there for you to take the risk or to stretch as in Rhonda's course.
00:53:19 - Rhonda Britten
Yeah. And a piece of paper is a lovely, lovely vehicle for change.
00:53:25 - Meilin Ehlke
Hmm, The writer. Yes.
00:53:25 - Rhonda Britten
Yes, writing is a vehicle. So write it all down. Write every word down. Don't be afraid. You can always tear it up and, you know, burn it, but just write it all down. The more that you can be willing to see who you are, all your fears, all your worries, all your anxieties, all your, all your dreams, all your hopes, just write it all down. The more that you can get it out of you and onto a piece of paper, the more you're going to be able to go, oh, wow. Oh, wow. I didn't know that was all in me. Wow. Because what we do is we just stuff it, right? And we don't even know what we're thinking or what we're feeling. And that piece of paper or, you know, working with a coach or working talking to a friend or talking to that rock, all those things are going to help you discover who you are in this moment and then you have more permission to actually make changes in your life. This is all under your power. You are so powerful. You have no idea how powerful you are. You are so powerful.
00:54:22 - Meilin Ehlke
Yes, you are. We are. And I am.
00:54:27 - Rhonda Britten
That's right, that's right. That's right.
00:54:28 - Meilin Ehlke
It's important that we see and create that change. That was so beautifully said, Rhonda. But I'm still going to ask you the last word. There's so much. But now, after whatever arose during our conversation in this episode, what arises now? Because I'm really also curious, what are you still going to do? That came up. You are an amazing woman, a beautiful, a determined risk taker. You've gone through a lot and you still know there's a reason for you to be here. You have a purpose of much light love to help people to come fearless. So what is still for you to do?
00:55:19 - Rhonda Britten
Oh my gosh, there's so much for me to do. I have so many books in me. So I just finished my. Just finished the first draft of my Dark Night of the Soul book. So I went through a three year Dark Night of the Soul. And, you know, most people go through one. I would dare say everyone does. And when I was going through my dark night, you know, I was glad that I knew what I knew because I went in with eyes wide open and I knew I was gonna write a book about it one day. It's taken me over, gosh, over 12 years to finish the book. All my other books took like three, you know, like six months to write. And this one's taken me over 10 years because I had to process everything. So my Dark Knight book is happening.
Also. I'm really excited because I train coaches and I certify coaches, and I'm creating two new programs. So if you're already a certified coach or a certified therapy, you know, a trained therapist, I'm actually going to be introducing two ways that you can do my work. Two different certifications, skill certification and tool certification that you can do my work without becoming a certified Fearless Living coach.
So I've got that happening. And I'm going to be introducing two private podcasts coming out. So I've got lots of things I'm working on lots of things. And I also have a new fear quiz coming out and a new fear book. So lots is transpiring. So if you go to fearlessliving.org and you get on my list, you'll find out all about this. And the Fear Quiz I'm super excited about because for 30 years, people have been saying to me, rhonda, you've gotta make a quiz so people can find their Wheel of Fear. And I've always been like, no, no, they have to go through the work and do the worksheets. Well, I've succumb and surrendered and I am in the process right now, of creating a quiz that will help you. It's not. May not get you right spot on to your core fear, but it's going to get you pretty gosh darn close to your core fear. So pretty soon that's going to be launching and then my fear book along with it.
So I'm pretty. I'm pretty excited. I feel like I'm. I feel like I'm reaching a whole new level of what I'm here to do. I'm going to a. You know, I'm at a legacy stage, right? So I've been doing it for 30 years, so I'm at a legacy, legacy stage. So I'm just attempting to create everything I can. So if and when I do pass that, everything is here for generations to come.
00:57:47 - Meilin Ehlke
Yeah, I can feel that. This compassion for any other human being, Rhonda, within you. And that has been, I would say, your driver from the beginning. So no one has to experience what you have experienced. But also to make this world a more beautiful place.
00:58:08 - Rhonda Britten
Yes.
00:58:09 - Meilin Ehlke
So you're going to stay with us for a while. (laughter)
00:58:12 - Rhonda Britten
Well, that's what they say. Because you have.
00:58:15 - Meilin Ehlke
If that keeps unfolding, what is unfolding in this speed. That is really speed. And it's hard work. And you're still determined and to keep on, on this path. And I thank you deeply from my heart for, for. For being. For not giving up on yourself and for saying, nope, fear, you will have less and less chance with me.
00:58:47 - Rhonda Britten
Thank you. Not me today, not. Not my life today. And this is true for everybody. Right? Everybody can do it. And you know, the thing that I want everyone to hear, if they could only hear one thing from me today is, you know, put your hand over your heart right now and just soak in these words I'm about to say. Because if there's nothing else you gained from today, this is what I want you to hear above all else.
There is nothing wrong with you. It's just fear. There is nothing wrong with you. It's just fear. There is nothing wrong with you. It's just fear.
And let that melt all of that hardness away. Let it melt all that doubt away. Let it melt all of your shame away. Let it melt everything away. There's nothing wrong with me. It is just fear. There's nothing wrong with me. It's just fear.
There is nothing wrong with you. It's just fear. Let that soak into your cells and melt away anything that's holding you back. That is my wish for you.
00:59:39 - Meilin Ehlke
Beautifully, magically, beautiful energy, so light. Thank you very much, Rhonda, for you taking your morning to speak with us. To bring healing, to bring advice, to nudge us, to stretch, nudge us to take risks, nudge us to become who we are. And you supported us during this almost now an hour. So thank you, thank you, thank you very much.
And everyone do reach out, find whatever. It doesn't matter if it's a video, a written text from now or 30 years ago or prior. Everything will touch you and I would say catapult you forward.
So thank you again, Rhonda. Have a wonderful day.
And everyone out there, I'm a Mylene Elky. Be the fearless, beautiful being you are and shine your light out into the world. Bye bye.